12/13/12 Introduction to the Charlotte community and supporters of NAMI
My blogger name is Lucinda and I am respectfully, the designated blogger for the Charlotte NAMI website.
I was appointed this position and hope to fulfill it to the best of
my ability and share with all of you, my life and points in recovery
that I face each and every day. I will begin this blog to the community and supporters by telling you a
little bit about me and giving a summary of my history. It is hard to summerize the last 18 years in a so very few words so rather, let this be my introduction. I have so many experiences to share with you and I hope that one day you will share yours with me.
Some of you may identify with parts of my story but all of you have your own story and many more, I am sure. I am a not so normal 33 year old
living in Charlotte NC. I have bipolar disorder and was first
hospitalized when I was 15 years old. I believe, it all started with my drug addiction and truancy
from school.
My parents divorced when I was 8 and
and I lived alone with my father until I was 11. Then I moved in with
my mother. My mother did everything that she could to provide for my
younger brother and I and worked a lot. I shut my father out of my
life because I was beginning to identify again, with my peers, my new
family. My peers were my age and had problems of their own.
After a few years of dabbling in drugs
and dismissing school as it didn't seem important at the time, my
mother made me move back in with my father who was living in Columbus
Ohio. I didn’t adjust very well, although for a time I went to
school and made the honor roll and stopped doing drugs, I missed my
old friends. I visited them after 2 years in Ohio and did drugs again
and gained my first hospitalization. I was diagnosed with
drug-induced psychosis NOS and PTSD.
During the rest of my high school
career I was unable to cope with my new life and medication that I
had to take to be well. I searched for the person I used to be and
tried to find the social groups that I used to fit into. I fell into
my old ways and I was hospitalized 12 more times for mania and once
for severe depression and a suicide attempt before I dropped out of
high school two years later.
For the next six years I relapsed with
various new drugs and abusive relationships that I used to nullify my
illness. I was hospitalized many more times for mania and had a
second suicide attempt under my belt and knew that I had to leave
Columbus, Ohio to get better. I was not running away from my problems
but I needed a new beginning as we often do when life gets the best
of us. I moved to Charlotte, NC and for the first time gained my
independence working as a dancer. I stayed hospital free for 5 years.
I gained my confidence and self esteem back and was on my way to
recovery.
Dancing was a double edged sword.
Although it was liberating, it brought about a new slew of problems
to be dealt with. I became an alcoholic which was something that I
didn't realize until the end of that career. I guess when I realized
it was time to get out, I knew that it was going against my morals
and values and I wanted to have a real relationship. Getting married
was something that I would never be able to do that while in such a bad environment.
Well, the epiphany that I was an alcoholic actually came later when I
landed my dream job working as a deckhand aboard a 220 ft. mega yacht
in Ft. Lauderdale. It got me fired.
Luck had it that when I returned to
Charlotte I met my lovely life partner and we got married two years
later. Our road has had it's ups and downs and I have been in the
hospital for work related stress since our wedding. I am still
recovering and I recognize a lot more about my bipolar than what I
used to. This blog is meant for friends families and those who suffer
from mental illness as an encouragement to know that you are not
alone with the trials that you face. Sometimes it may seem like you
are swimming upstream but to use a little nautical terminology you
must tack against the wind , slow and steady to the left and right
and you will eventually reach your destination.
God Bless You all and Happy Holidays. I
hope this blog finds you in safety and peace. I will be returning with a new entry very soon.
Yours Truly,
